David Parker

London- The Economist reports today that the Russian Ministry of Labour announced a revision in the rules for qualification for unemployment insurance. Oil industry workers laid off will no longer qualify for benefits, and due to what is referred to a "temporary issue," new unemployment claims are not being processed at this time. Moscow- Mr Sergei Lisitsin, Press Secretary for the Ministry of Labour, stated at a press conference that the Employment Fund is solvent and the issue relates to computer programming in the Employer Accounts section.

Moscow- Lukoil have released their quarterly financial reports today. Revenues are predicted to be down by low double digits for the next calendar year. Amortization of losses from the recent fire is expected to take over three years and is expected to exceed 75bn rubles. Austerity measures to offset the costs will include salary revisions and rotating shutdowns of lower volume facilities. Helsinki- Nils Torvalds, a Finnish representative in the European Parliament, has been elected President of Finland following a hotly contested election. Torvalds is the most outspoken advocate of Finland joining NATO currently active in Finnish politics. Unnamed Russian sources in Helsinki state that Finland joining NATO would "destabilize" the region.

Moscow- The Russian News Agency, TASS, reports economists predict the current slump in Russian crude oil prices to continue. Listeners will recall the recent fire at Lukoil's largest refinery caused regional shortages and austerity measures, reducing revenues. More recent overproduction has glutted the market.

Manners, please. "Wrong jerk" is not appropriate.

Vice President Parker, in a typically taciturn tweet on his personal Twitter account, made the following announcement today: "Personal opinion. Dylan Macmillan is best suited to be the next President of the United States. I plan to vote for him."

David Parker. Everywhere. John Wright, PolUK.

The following message was distributed to media outlets today.

The Vice President made the following comments in response to ongoing airstrikes in Syria.

The Vice President recently spoke to a Veterans' convention on the subject of foreign policy.

Vice President Parker made the following comments to a WSMV reporter outside the National Observatory today.

The Vice President made the following comments following his registration as a candidate for President of the United States.

Vice President Parker commented recently on President Fitzgerald's renewal of the Mexico City ban on use of Federal funds for abortions under certain circumstances.

Parker Media Roundup The following are recent comments by Vice President Parker on current events. On the China/Russia/Japan unrest: "Our friends and foes alike should understand this Administration is not disengaging from the global stage. America First should not be interpreted as America Only." At the Pearl Harbor memorial ceremony: "Imperial Japan made the mistake of resting American resolve one Sunday morning here. Along with the 2400 casualties, the discredited doctrine of isolationism was soundly and completely buried. Never again can we leave the global stage; this is our responsibility, it is our trust, it is our promise to the honored dead in the cemeteries around the Island and forever entombed in USS ARIZONA. " On the recent election: "I heard someone say that the progressive message wasn't gotten out. I disagree; they did an excellent job and the American People just aren't interested in it."

The following are recent comments made by Vice President Parker on topics in the news. On recent comments on immigration policy: On Censuring the President: On the Fredricksen funeral:

Vice President Parker spoke to a WBIR reporter on the passing of Staff Sergeant Basil Fredrickson, US Army (Retired).